graveyard thoughts on life and the interconnected and infinite nature of the universe
All that this semester’s given me can’t be taken away by a change in location. The spiritual connection I have to Cardiff feels like it’ll still be there. I have been a part of this place and this place is now a part of me and nothing, not time or distance or affect, can change that.
Hopefully I’ll come back someday, maybe even soonish (like next five years), but even if I never did, I am breathing in Cardiff and breathing out myself into it as I speak. Our connections with each other and this world are far deeper than physical. This trip has made me feel more connected, not only to the places I’ve been and the people I’ve met, but to the world and people and life and death and time in general. There is so much more than what we see and do and feel and say every day. I’m sitting here under the sun that’s been shining on this earth for many thousands [billions!!!!] of years. It will shine on everyone I ever know and all our descendants, as it shone on all the hundreds of people buried here and the billions who have ever lived and died and loved, and the dinosaurs, and all the wonderful creatures that have ever been. It has at least eight (not nine, sorry Pluto) planets circling it, and all their moons. It is one star amongst, idk, trillions [I have no idea how many stars there are???] in our universe, which holds an infinity of unknown things and still probably isn’t all there is. And I am connected to all of that.
I am connected to everything that ever was and everything that ever will be, even could be, because I am here, right now. Some people say that we’re small, say that we’re insignificant. How can anything in this world be insignificant? How can anything throughout all of time and space be insignificant? This is everything, we are everything, tiny strings in an infinite tapestry of existence with still smaller threads inside us, and even smaller molecules inside of them, and so on and so on. And in feeling so connected to everything, it makes me feel less like I’m leaving something behind when I leave in two weeks [now days]. Because everything is really made up of everything else and you could never escape that even if you wanted to.